I recently found out about this marvellous new invention called The Gym! It’s ace! They have all these machines that can help make you fit and strong! Although there were no slim feminine types there with cute bouncy hair, perfect smiles and flawless skin. I saw lots of sweaty yet happy people and a few mountains with muscles bigger than my head!
Yesterday I went for my induction and got a funky memory stick key card thingy that you stick in the slots on the machines. Apparently it dictates how long your workout is. We shall see. The screen welcomed me with a smiley face! I did the leg-sidey-sidey-pushy-outie like skiing thingy, the funny swish-swish-walking-with-snowshoes thingy and the walking-up-a-fake-mountain-whilst-watching-tv thingy – I didn’t like that one.
I’ve got my personal one-to-one next week with a trainer. Sounds very glamorous right? I’m quite surprised by the happy people working there. Everyone smiles and they’re very polite and genuine, none of this “have a nice day” bullshit, just down to earth niceness. I visited the same gym several years ago before it was knocked down and rebuilt into the fabulous place it is now. The staff of old were a surly bunch of monosyllabic turds who couldn’t inspire grass to grow. I was put off by their lack of interest in anything other than lounging around behind their desk so I never went back.
In the last few years I’ve lost a considerable amount of weight and have just started biking again. The problem I want to avoid is saggyness. I’m not there yet but I don’t want to wake up one day and find my arms look all floppy and my legs have turned to bags of jello! I’m not interested in transforming my body into an arrangement of muscles with a head on top, I just want to get some definition, tone up and get back the stores of stamina I used to have when I was younger.
In my late teens and early 20’s I went to the gym regularly but I couldn’t get over that feeling of being watched and judged. But this place is so different. The majority of people simply aren’t interested in watching anyone else, most are either watching the screens or listening to their music. That reminds me, I need one of those mini iPod Shuffle thingies so I can listen to music instead of people panting and grunting away. If I close my eyes it almost sounds like I’ve walked into an ancient post gladiator Roman orgy!
I’m looking forward to my next session and trying to work out what machine does what and how much it will hurt my body, no gain without pain, right? Some of them looked less like muscle enhancement machines but rather mini construction trucks without wheels. Scary. After the short session yesterday I can feel my muscles waking up and complaining today, excellent!