New Invention: The Gym!

I recently found out about this marvellous new invention called The Gym! It’s ace! They have all these machines that can help make you fit and strong! Although there were no slim feminine types there with cute bouncy hair, perfect smiles and flawless skin. I saw lots of sweaty yet happy people and a few mountains with muscles bigger than my head!

Yesterday I went for my induction and got a funky memory stick key card thingy that you stick in the slots on the machines. Apparently it dictates how long your workout is. We shall see. The screen welcomed me with a smiley face! I did the leg-sidey-sidey-pushy-outie like skiing thingy, the funny swish-swish-walking-with-snowshoes thingy and the walking-up-a-fake-mountain-whilst-watching-tv thingy – I didn’t like that one.

I’ve got my personal one-to-one next week with a trainer. Sounds very glamorous right? I’m quite surprised by the happy people working there. Everyone smiles and they’re very polite and genuine, none of this “have a nice day” bullshit, just down to earth niceness. I visited the same gym several years ago before it was knocked down and rebuilt into the fabulous place it is now. The staff of old were a surly bunch of monosyllabic turds who couldn’t inspire grass to grow. I was put off by their lack of interest in anything other than lounging around behind their desk so I never went back.

In the last few years I’ve lost a considerable amount of weight and have just started biking again. The problem I want to avoid is saggyness. I’m not there yet but I don’t want to wake up one day and find my arms look all floppy and my legs have turned to bags of jello! I’m not interested in transforming my body into an arrangement of muscles with a head on top, I just want to get some definition, tone up and get back the stores of stamina I used to have when I was younger.

In my late teens and early 20’s I went to the gym regularly but I couldn’t get over that feeling of being watched and judged. But this place is so different. The majority of people simply aren’t interested in watching anyone else, most are either watching the screens or listening to their music. That reminds me, I need one of those mini iPod Shuffle thingies so I can listen to music instead of people panting and grunting away. If I close my eyes it almost sounds like I’ve walked into an ancient post gladiator Roman orgy!

I’m looking forward to my next session and trying to work out what machine does what and how much it will hurt my body, no gain without pain, right? Some of them looked less like muscle enhancement machines but rather mini construction trucks without wheels. Scary. After the short session yesterday I can feel my muscles waking up and complaining today, excellent!

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11 thoughts on “New Invention: The Gym!

    • Witness it! Rofl! We have one of those Wii Fit thingies with the board, it’s pretty good too but it doesn’t get used as much as we’d all promised ourselves when we bought it!

  1. Your comment
    “The problem I want to avoid is saggyness. I’m not there yet but I don’t want to wake up one day and find my arms look all floppy and my legs have turned to bags of jello!”
    …made me smile…
    Welcome to my world! I think hell will freeze over firs before I am able to change my blog name to “Twiglet in Portugal” 😳
    You are wise to do something now Noob…good luck!

  2. you’ll enjoying working wit a trainer. You learn a lot and it’s very motivating. hmmm, the last few times I’ve commented on your blog, my screen dim on and off. not sure what that’s about!

    • I wonder why it does that. The background image I use at the moment is quite a large file size, maybe it’s something to do with that. I’ll change it today, let me know if that happens again.

  3. I think exercise is wonderful for you! It’s amazing how it makes you more tired, yet leaves you more energized, isn’t it? I have to say though, if I consider my options I prefer biking outdoors. I love the feeling of the sun on your face and the wind cooling you down, or the exhilaration of going downhill really fast! Or generally just the change of scenery on your route via going nowhere slowly on equipment that must be wiped after use for everyone’s sweat on it. Yuck! I wouldn’t say it is always fresh air, considering the amount of pollution that we deal with nowadays, especially if you cycle near afternoon rush hour traffic, but I still prefer outdoors to the humid, stuffy feel and smell of the inside of the gym. In winter though outside is not really an option for me. In that case I think the gym can be a more practical work out, but even then I might prefer a treadmill or stationary bicycle inside in front of a window over a beautiful garden, or multi tasking while watching a television program I enjoy. Either way exercise is good for you in so many ways, so GOOD ON YOU! It is important to enjoy it!

    • Absolutely! I take my bike out twice a week now and love it. I don’t go very far, just a couple of miles but it’s nice and free and far away from the noise. Luckily I live out in the sticks, a small village where it’s easy to get lost in the back roads, only to find a nice pub and stop for a cool coke! The gym is quite decent, air con, modern facilities, and I wasn’t thinking of all the sweaty people who had used the machines before me until you mentioned it!

      No worries tho, I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it and take a towel with me! I’m not a fan of using the bike in the gym tho, feels a bit pointless to me, or the running machine for that matter, I do plenty of walking as it is. I did like that sideways skiing thingy though, that was ace fun!

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