Seldom do I read a post so heartfelt, so passionate, so filled to bursting with emotion as the one I have just read. I urge you, dear blog reader, to visit Indigo Spider’s blog and read her truly brave words. I am astounded by her astonishing grasp of the truth and her courage to say what she is so desperate to scream from the roof tops until her voice cracks under strain.
After reading her amazing post I was tempted to reply in the comment box, but no, that wasn’t good enough for me. I wanted, no, I needed to reply to her with my own sincere voice, to let her know that every last plea has been heard and understood. Many of the things she rages against are echoed in my own life, though I don’t claim they are even on the same level, but I honestly understand where she is coming from.
So this post is for you, Indigo, may it give you a glimmer of cheer in your moment of darkness.
Indigo, the struggle will pay off, I pray sooner than you think. There is a special poetic magic to your words, they flow with beauty, such quiet magnificence and clarity. A loser you are not, and though I don’t know you personally I don’t just believe you have touched many lives with your digital presence, I know you have.
Indigo, in time I know you will find a voice you are happy with, I have seen your writing improve with every post, every flash fiction and every last enticing word. There should be no feeling of guilt for what you have achieved is remarkable, and I predict it’s only a matter of time before your perseverance pays off.
Indigo, wanting and dreaming is what drives us, and yes some dreams are never realised but without them we lose our spark, that zest that makes us shine to our friends and family. Do not for one moment think things will never ever happen, because with such inner beauty as yours I am sure they will.
Indigo, I’ve met very few people in my life who take everything in, the injustices in the world – corruption, impossibly cruel regimes, faceless corporations who buy and sell lives for the sake of money. It is an overwhelming position to be so aware of everything that is wrong in the world. I believe the way to cope with such adversity is to shine ever brighter and to touch those around you. By conducting your life in a morally centred manner you seek to bring a slither of balance between good and evil.
Indigo, I do not believe your idealism has been crushed, dented perhaps, but given your passionate rage it seems alive and kicking. We all have that youthful hope that things will change, it is one of the many confusing elements of life that must learn to accept. Yet as we dwell on the things that don’t change, we are often blinded by those that do, both personal and global. Baby steps, Indigo.
Indigo, you are far from not being noticed, you have a voice and it has never been mediocre. Not once, nor will it ever be. Screw the spellcheck and grammar Nazi’s! Write how you want, your way, for you, first and foremost. If people don’t like, then tough shit! There will always be someone cheering you on, loving what you say and encouraging your voice to never cease.
Indigo, say “FUCK YOU!” when you want, whisper it, laugh it, shout and scream it! Say it when angry, say “FUCK IT!” to release the tension, mutter it under your breath with a smile, shout it from your window if it please ya! Please don’t worry what others think, I know from personal experience what it means to want not to be noticed yet screaming on the inside for attention. It’s a horrendous battle that damages the spirit. I’m certain that a tender soul such as yours invites those much needs words of “I love you”, unspoken or whispered as they may be, I believe they are there.
Indigo, I beg you understand your purpose, that you find your path and learn to love it. It has taken me many years to feel confident enough to call myself a writer, and at times I laugh silently at this incredibly bold statement, but I feel comfortable with it now. You have an amazing talent, one that demands you call yourself a writer. It doesn’t matter that you don’t have books in every store, not yet at least. Baby steps, Indigo.
Indigo, you do make a difference, not only to my own life, but to those who read your blog, who participate in your Sunday Picture Press. You do make an impact and I suspect you don’t realise how big that is. Whenever I post a story on my blog I wait for your reply, it’s as if I can almost see your face light up as you read it, and that is because of your impact on my life, just as it is on other bloggers’ lives.
Indigo, to those who mock you – what do we say? You got it. “FUCK YOU!” Loud and proud or with quiet confidence. Understand that being ignored and dismissed is not your concern, look for those who welcome and cherish your company. You have passion, fire, drive, spirit, humour and emotional depth that so many people lack and never find.
Indigo, my advice is always yours should you need it, unbiased and honest. I wasted a portion of my youth worrying. Worrying about my body image, what others think of me and how they might react to what I have to say. Over the years I have come to the conclusion that life is too short to worry about that which we have no control over. My sister has reminded me more than once that life is not a rehearsal, we get one shot at it and we should grab opportunity whenever we can.
Indigo, when I read your post I was struck by the rage, despair and passion almost as if I could hear you crying and screaming. There have been moments in my life where I could feel my inner essence being twisted and torn by so many conflicting emotions. I don’t claim to have all the answers, maybe none in fact, but I am certain you will succeed and prosper. You will find peace and happiness.
To steal a line from Joss, The Crowing Crone – Indigo, walk in beauty my friend, for it surrounds you, always.